The Green Pen

As a graduate student at Abilene Christian University, I have a lot of really cool opportunities. One of those opportunities is that I get to work as Curt Niccum's graduate assistant. Sometimes, that means I get to do work with manuscripts of the Greek New Testament that are 800+ years old.  Sometimes it means I get to pick his brain over all things textual criticism (Yes I know, totally boring to you, but totally exciting to me). Today, it meant I got to grade tests.

Ok, ok, I understand that doesn't sound remotely exciting. It's certainly not the best task I've ever been given, but it was actually not too bad. It's kind of thrilling to think that the academic well-being of these students depends on the strokes you make with that green pen. As I got into it, I realized I began rooting for different papers in different ways.  What I mean by that is that I would find myself hoping for certain results from certain papers. If the first page would be perfect, I would find myself really hoping the rest of the test would be just as flawless. I would root for that particular student to get a 100.  However, if the first page was already marred by lots of little green marks, I found myself wanting to see how many this person could miss. 

I know that makes me a terrible person. I really do want everyone to learn as much as possible in every class that they take, but sometimes it's just fun to try and see how many questions you get to mark wrong.

The problem with that is that sometimes you just get on a roll. There were a few instances in which someone missed several in a row, and so I absently marked the next one wrong, only to discover that that person had actually answered the question correctly. My pen got ahead of my brain.

Now before you get all upset, I double-checked and made sure that I correctly graded every test. Every test has the correct total on it. There are just several that include corrected mistakes made by me.

Anyway, this whole grading process got me thinking about how glad I am that God doesn't look at us the same way I looked at these tests.  God doesn't pick people to cheer for and others to cheer against based on how well they are performing.  God doesn't get pleasure out of recognizing the mistakes we make. God doesn't anticipate our failure. He wants every single one of us to live according to his will. And if we don't do so well on the first page, he doesn't dismiss us. If we do everything wrong, he doesn't cross us off as hopeless.

When it comes to grading tests, I imagine I'll probably always be the same way I am now. I will always be fair, but that doesn't mean I won't enjoy the process of passing and failing students. However, when it comes to real life, I really want to be able to say I look at people the same way God does.

I want to be able to say that I don't dismiss others just because they don't seem to get it. I want to be able to cheer for everyone, regardless of how well they seem to be doing. I want to use my "green pen" as little as possible. I don't want to be someone who judges others.

I'm so glad that God doesn't look at people the same way I look at tests. And I'm so happy that we have an example of love in Jesus so that I can escape my tendencies of judgment and dismissal. I'm so thankful for a God that is forgiving and that is always on our team, even if we don't seem to recognize the sport we're playing.

May the love of God guide your relationships, and may compassion always stay your hand.

--Tyler